Everybody is crying here. Or punching other people in the mouth. Some are doing both. All the long-faced whiney-pantses were up by seven, which is completely abnormal. We do not do mornings here.
Elliott is currently laying on his belly, on two pillows, on the sofa, with his legs flopped up and over the back of said sofa. He is kicking himself in the butt, every couple of kicks he says, “I win!” Perhaps he will nap; 9:30 a.m. naps are divine.
I don’t actually KNOW if they are divine, as I do not remember having a 9:30 nap. I assume they are divine. I believe in naps.
Short list of things, other than crying and punches in the mouth, that have happened:
- Elliott turned three, and has embraced 3-ness with every ounce of his being.
- The H-bomb has announced his intention to learn the bagpipes.
- The village where we live told us we had to get rid of our chickens because we were in violation of the zoning ordinances.
- I turned 35.
- I got a job. (I typed “I got a Jon”. But I already had a Jon.)
- I remembered some things from my childhood that explain a LOT.
- I got a tattoo.
Speaking of how awesome three year-olds are, mine is forever chewing on his shirt. Every time I turn around, kid is chomping away. Super gross. Tell me how to make this stop. It’s gross, and he’s wet and that is gross and have I mentioned gross? Is there some sort of clothing pepper spray that I can apply to deter him?
I would also like to mention, in regards to Item 3 in the list up there, that there is a village resident who lives in close proximity to the mayor, who has a rooster. This rooster crows all day long. I can hear it in my house. Did that guy (or woman) get a zoning violation notice? NO. For the record, I do not care even the tiniest bit that I can hear the rooster. I like them in other people’s yards. I just think the general Ignoring The Premise Of Equal Application Of The Law is ridiculous. But whatever, to each village, its own… Ummm… choices to ignore the Constitution and the Bill of Rights ??? and stuff??? The whole story is another post for another day.
My people seem to have settled down, so I’m going to see if I can get them to do something useful. Wish me luck.