So. It was summer. And now, it’s still technically summer, but summer is actually over. I’ll tell you how I know: I had to wear socks last week. Three days. I never wear socks in the summer.
The Mister was home all! summer! long! because he had an emergency back surgery situation that rendered him lump-like and unable to do things like LISTEN TO HIS BOSSES MICROMANAGE THINGS and WEAR A TOOL BELT. Doctor’s note and everything, y’all. He did take the short people to swimming lessons every day, and after a while he started wiping keisters again, which was nice. But mostly he cringed when the short people ran in his general direction and
beat them off with a cane used an actual cane to define his personal space bubble. It was very effective.
We took up camping, which means I spent many moons laying on an air mattress in a tent away from my veryown bathroom. Most of the time it didn’t suck, but when it did suck? It really, really, really sucked. I know, spoilerish alert. Believe me, I didn’t ruin the story at all by letting you know it sucked.
Jack turned six, and he’s quite old and tall and he does Boy Things. For example, Henry says to Jack, I think you should drop this croquet ball on my head. And Jack says, That’s the single most brilliant idea you’ve had all day, old chap, I’m happy to oblige. And then DROPS THE CROQUET BALL ON HIS LITTLE BROTHER’S HEAD and also WONDERS WHY I’M NOT HAPPY ABOUT THE SITUATION.
And since I’m ratting out the short people, one of my children approached her father at a party and said, Pops, I have a string that’s bothering me. Be a dear and allow me to borrow your Swiss Army knife to remove it. To which Pops replies, Sure, darling, anything for you! and opens the Swiss Army Knife to the itty-bitty scissors, hands it to the short person, and stops paying attention. Short Person sneaks off and GIVES HERSELF A HAIRCUT. And then THROWS A FIT WHEN I MAKE HER A RECTIFYING-THIS-GOD-AWFUL-MESS APPOINTMENT at an actual salon and also WONDERS WHY I’M NOT HAPPY ABOUT THE SITUATION.
We are making a solar system out of balloons for our next astronomy lesson. I’m not sure how that is going to work seeing as how balloons aren’t actually shaped like planets.
Remember this? I think I can top it.