I am not a fan of wearing shorts. They are fine for other people, except for excessive thongishness, visible coin slot, or epic brevity. They are not fine for me.
I prefer skirts. Long ones, knee-length, even (gasp!) a teensy bit above the knee. Skirts are cool, they are feminine, they are pretty… Everything that shorts are not.
It’s hot. And in my area of the world, we have The Humidity. The Humidity causes a girl to have sticky skin. Everywhere. And this can make the wearing of the skirt a little bit uncomfortable. I have the body of a mama who has birthed four babies in a relatively short amount of time, and that is fine with me.
It’s fine with me EXCEPT FOR WHEN MY THIGHS STICK TOGETHER LIKE… WELL… ummm… They just stick together, okay? And it’s gross. I don’t like it, not one little bit.
But people, I am pleased to announce that despite the heat and humidity and the thigh bounty I possess, I am free of The Thigh Stickies. I can tell from the stunned silence and the slightly cringing looks you are wearing that you are hesitant to hear the solution. Never fear, my dear ones. It’s safe, easy to administer, and I’m positive that you already have this valuable item in your possession.
It’s not really the no-odor ingredient you need, but the antiperspirant one. Just take your Dove or your Arm and Hammer or the homemade stuff your crunchy pal made you, and slather your thighs with it. (wondering if the pervs are going to arrive thanks to that last sentence.)
Don’t let your thigh chub get you down. Slap some deodorant on your gams and head out the door. Happy summer, and also? You’re welcome.